An unhappy post.

Last night we went to an awards banquet for my oldest son's swim team. We sat by this family that had children who LIKED each other. It was very odd. (Although, I secretly wish my children liked each other and were friends). Anyway, she said something that stuck with me and has really been bothering me: They moved to the area we live because they only have one chance to raise their kids the right way.

It makes me wonder what I am doing, besides missing out on the kids' activities. I need to be home more, I need to spend more quality time with my kids. I need to go to more than one part of one swim meet. I think this is either my last semester at school or I am going to have to quit work. I will see at the end of the semester. My dream would be to quit work and continue school. I really don't want to quit school. For the first time in my life I am succeeding in school and I love it. Unfortunately, right now, it doesn't seem like I am getting the chance to really follow my dreams. It seems like all I can do is what HAS to be done with no time for dreams.

Hopefully, this will change.

As the ceremony went on, I realized what a loser parent I have been this last year and a half. I used to go to all sorts of activities with the kids. I never missed anything they were in or played in. Now, I miss EVERYTHING. I used to help out and functions and at the kids school. Now, nothing. I can't even let the kids do the activities they want to because it interferes with either school or work, usually it's work that gets in the way.

I am so utterly unhappy with the way my life is right now. Something has to change.