Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Prune juice and other scary stuff.

Warning: TMI! 

Today I went and bought some prune juice because, well, I needed it. When I got home I realized that I hadn't called my mother back, so I did. 

Big mistake. 

Let's just say that mom likes to talk about scary stuff, like the end of the world, which immediately puts me into major anxiety/panic attack spin. I know she doesn't mean to, she just wants to "warn" us. 

Around 7 years ago I started reading the Bible ALOT. I was obsessed with it and what it had to say about the end of times. I also did a TON of research on the internet which always did a good job of scaring the b'jeezus out of me. Who knew what to believe. So, I lived in constant fear for about 3 years. Fear of going anywhere, of seeing people, of the future (especially the future), of dying, and of living. It was horrible. 

Eventually, I got a handle on the panic attacks and decided to forego all that research for awhile. All was well. 

Until my mom started doing all same research I did back them. She started about 2 weeks ago. 

(Mom, I don't know if I can answer the phone anymore.)

One thing she doesn't understand: if the world goes into tribulations like the bible says, which has been translated by the church, I lose my husband. Period. No buying insulin. No insulin, he dies. And she wonders why it scares me so much. (well, and all the other scary stuff that is supposed to happen.) 

Sometimes the anxiety and fear is so bad that I have to leave the house. I get so antsy. Tonight I had to get out. The kids and I went and had chips and queso and some dessert at a local restaurant (well, the kids did. My stomach is in to many knots to eat anything). As we were waiting for our food, I noticed the 3 year old had a fever. I sure hope it doesn't last long and isn't serious. 

Good news: I don't have to drink the prune juice. The fear did all the work.  

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