Friday, February 26, 2010

An unhappy post.

Last night we went to an awards banquet for my oldest son's swim team. We sat by this family that had children who LIKED each other. It was very odd. (Although, I secretly wish my children liked each other and were friends). Anyway, she said something that stuck with me and has really been bothering me: They moved to the area we live because they only have one chance to raise their kids the right way.

It makes me wonder what I am doing, besides missing out on the kids' activities. I need to be home more, I need to spend more quality time with my kids. I need to go to more than one part of one swim meet. I think this is either my last semester at school or I am going to have to quit work. I will see at the end of the semester. My dream would be to quit work and continue school. I really don't want to quit school. For the first time in my life I am succeeding in school and I love it. Unfortunately, right now, it doesn't seem like I am getting the chance to really follow my dreams. It seems like all I can do is what HAS to be done with no time for dreams.

Hopefully, this will change.

As the ceremony went on, I realized what a loser parent I have been this last year and a half. I used to go to all sorts of activities with the kids. I never missed anything they were in or played in. Now, I miss EVERYTHING. I used to help out and functions and at the kids school. Now, nothing. I can't even let the kids do the activities they want to because it interferes with either school or work, usually it's work that gets in the way.

I am so utterly unhappy with the way my life is right now. Something has to change.


  1. You needed to come to park yesterday for some support! Actually, it was cold so maybe not. Anyway, you are a great mom. I'm sorry you feel so unhappy and like you are not doing enough for and with your kids. You are doing what you need to do right now and that is admirable. I am really impressed at the life you are keeping up with right now. It will get better. Take a deep breath and try to relax. You will find your way if you can be quiet in your head, and listen for the answer. You already know what it is deep down, you just have to wait for it to surface. Till then, we all love you and will do anything we can to help. :) Toni

  2. Ditto what Toni said! It sucks when things get that busy. I don't know anyone who wouldn't feel overwhelmed by what you have on your plate. I also have no doubt you have your family's best interest at the front of what you do, even when what needs to be done gets in the way. *BIG HUG*

  3. Ditto what they said! You are a wonderful mom and your kiddos are great kids. (Hugs)