As of today

Ok. So, it's been awhile. Summer was great. When school ended, I decided not to do much except play with the kids and enjoy the quiet time with them. We went to the pool a lot and I got my first tan in years!! I just hope it stays through winter.

Since school has started things are back to crazy. I have started to realize that I say "no" to too many things the kids want to do because I am so worn out each day. I have started to make a conscious effort to let them do more. But, my limit is 8 pm. I do not want to be out driving past that. I need my rest and relaxation time and after 8, I am more than ready for it.

I am currently gearing myself up for pomegranate jelly making time. Have I mentioned they are a pain in the ass? Oy. No wonder it only actually gets done once every few years. I have also just picked up a 50 pound case of cucumbers for pickling. I am so excited to make pickles, but only because I have never done it before. Anything new is fun the first time.

Bountiful Baskets

I started doing a food co op called Bountiful Baskets. Let me tell you that I love it. It is a really cool way to get fresh, inexpensive produce each week. If you happen to have this program in your area, try it.

This is what I received Saturday:

• 8 bananas
• 6 mangos
• 6 tomatoes
• 6 corn on the cobs
• 8 peaches
• 8 limes
• a 3 lb bag of apples
• 2 butternut squash
• a mini watermelon
• a small bag of mini carrots
• a bunch of brussel sprouts
• and a large head of romaine lettuce

All of the above items cost me $15. That's it. What's really nice is I get different produce each week. It's not the same thing from week to week. So, while we have brussel sprouts this week, next week we most likely won't.

This is how it works:

I get online on Monday afternoons and put my order in. On Saturday morning I take a laundry basket and go to a designated area to pick up my produce. I then plan my week's worth of meals around the produce.

The best thing about it for me? I love that I get to come up with new things to eat around the basket. It feels like a challenge to me to have to use it all up before the next basket comes.

Planning Ahead

This semester is almost over. THANK GOD!

It has been the hardest semester as of yet. I am doing really well in my Anatomy classes and in my Physiology lab, but I have a solid C in my physiology lecture. So, I will be retaking it next semester. Luckily, even with that C, I can apply for the nursing program this fall.... As long as I re-take an old psychology class over the summer. Which stinks, because I wasn't going to take anything over the summer. That's alright, though. It will all be worth it someday.

Today I registered for fall semester. Of course, I registered for way too much but only so I can drop the ones I decide I don't want. I would rather add too much now and be able to get into all the classes I want to.

Here is the rundown for Fall Semester:

For sure I will be taking:

1. Physiology (luckily, I won't have to take the lab again)
2. Business Statistics
3. Medical Terminology

The ones I am thinking about:

1. Trigonometry (if I don't get into the nursing program I will need this for a Biology degree)
2. Human Development

I know there is light at the end of this very long tunnel, but it would sure be nice to see it! I really do enjoy being in school and learning (I was never very good at it as a kid). It just feels like it is taking a really long time to get to where I am going. If I get into the nursing program, I will see major light. Getting in will mean I will have three semesters left. IF I don't get in (which is a bigger chance than getting in is), I will have something like three years left! Sigh.

Slowly, but surely, I am going to get SOMEWHERE!

A Social Retard

I have decided that I may be a social retard. I am not sure when this happened as it has always been easy for me to make friends and talk to people. Lately, though, I have noticed that I am less comfortable talking to people than I used to be. It has gotten to the point of practically ignoring people I know.

Example:

Today I took the two youngest kids to a local indoor play place. While there, I saw two different people I knew. One was the wife of my oldest son's boy scout leader and the other was a woman I know from the kid's school. Both of them I waved to and that's it. Nothing else. I practically ignored them after that. What the heck?! When did I become such a retard??

I think it might be due to the stress I have been under. I just don't FEEL like interacting with people or pretending life is great when it doesn't feel that way. I just don't have the energy. So, maybe I'm not a social retard. Maybe, I just can't handle much else right now, including people.

Addiction and Back to Life

Have I mentioned how addicted I am to Facebook? I signed up for it about 2 or 3 years ago, I don't really remember when. At first, I didn't get the point of it. Now, I can't get off it. Which really isn't helping with the needing to study. I love that all my friends are on there and we get to keep up with each other. I love that I get to be a farmer (Farm Ville), a mobster (Mafia Wars), a chef (Cafe World), and a mayor (My Town). I think it's become an escape from all the stress of life right now.

The kids and I had spring break last week and it was the most relaxing, enjoyable week I have had in a long time. Monday and Tuesday I didn't do much. We watched t.v., a couple of movies, and just enjoyed being home. By Friday I had shaved (which was much needed), cleaned the house (which is no longer clean), caught up on laundry (which is starting to overflow again), and had cooked dinner every night (we had nachos twice because we were craving them). It was a great week.

This week, we are all back to school. I even have 2 tests to take over the weekend to prove it. Hopefully, I will pass them all. I didn't study much at all over spring break. I had planned on it, but when it came down to it... I just didn't feel like it.

An unhappy post.

Last night we went to an awards banquet for my oldest son's swim team. We sat by this family that had children who LIKED each other. It was very odd. (Although, I secretly wish my children liked each other and were friends). Anyway, she said something that stuck with me and has really been bothering me: They moved to the area we live because they only have one chance to raise their kids the right way.

It makes me wonder what I am doing, besides missing out on the kids' activities. I need to be home more, I need to spend more quality time with my kids. I need to go to more than one part of one swim meet. I think this is either my last semester at school or I am going to have to quit work. I will see at the end of the semester. My dream would be to quit work and continue school. I really don't want to quit school. For the first time in my life I am succeeding in school and I love it. Unfortunately, right now, it doesn't seem like I am getting the chance to really follow my dreams. It seems like all I can do is what HAS to be done with no time for dreams.

Hopefully, this will change.

As the ceremony went on, I realized what a loser parent I have been this last year and a half. I used to go to all sorts of activities with the kids. I never missed anything they were in or played in. Now, I miss EVERYTHING. I used to help out and functions and at the kids school. Now, nothing. I can't even let the kids do the activities they want to because it interferes with either school or work, usually it's work that gets in the way.

I am so utterly unhappy with the way my life is right now. Something has to change.

My ADHD

As some of you remember, my 8 year old was diagnosed with ADHD. Two of my older ones have signs of it, but they have been manageable-I don't feel the need to have them diagnosed. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 16 years old and my 4 brothers and sisters have all been diagnosed with it. Lucky for us, it all stems from our mother, who has also been diagnosed. :)

For years, my mother told me to try medication for it. I didn't because I honestly did not see how ADHD was affecting my life. I thought I had a handle on things. Until recently. In November, my doctor gave me Adderal to see if it would help with studying. What's great is that it has helped in all areas of my life. There is a night and day difference in me when I take it vs. when I don't. When I take the meds laundry stays caught up, the house stays picked up, I can study (and not have to read the same page 50 times before I just give up), and I don't feel as foggy minded. Everything seems more clear and things are getting done. (Don't get me wrong, I still have a problem with procrastinating and the house is not as clean as I am making it sound. I mean, our Christmas tree just came down two days ago! ;) But, things are definitely better.)

Another bonus? I have had an anxiety disorder since I was 19 years old. When I take the Adderal, the anxiety is mostly gone. It sure doesn't attack me like it used to. The doctor says it's because the meds help me control my thoughts and they aren't so out of whack. I don't know, but I do know that I feel much better.

What do you tip?

I have noticed more and more that people don't tip what they should. Maybe it's the economy, maybe they are cheap, or maybe they just don't realize what it's like to live off of $1 per person tips. My hope is that people just don't realize the protocol. And because we have to live off of tips, undertipping irritates me pretty bad.

In my area, I have had servers tell me that most people tip about $1 per person, no matter what their bill is. Tipping should be done based off of your bill. Now, I know I tip a bit higher than standard because I understand the amount of work a server has to do for me to enjoy my meal. I start my tipping amount at 20% when I sit down. If the server is good and attentive (not annoying) they will get the full 20%. I go down from there. 10% is the lowest I will give. The only time I will leave $0 is if a server is so bad I had to talk to the manager. This way, the server knows it was about their service and not about me being cheap.

As I was thinking about all of this, I started wondering what the right tipping protocol is for other types of places.

So, I ask you. (Although, I know a lot of people have quit reading :) What do you tip your hairstylist? or the person who makes your coffee at Starbucks?

To my sister:

For those of you that read my sister's blog, you totally know why I am dedicating this video to her.

(I love you Steph!!)

Just a boring update

I am only in my second week of school and I am ready to melt down. I don't know what possessed me to take Physiology and Anatomy together. I think I lost my mind. They are really hard. For example, I took a quiz this week in Physiology and scored a whopping 2 out of 5. Luckily, it was for extra credit only. I can't believe how poorly I did. I don't think it was a good idea to take a trip last weekend to California. At least we had a good time!

Our washing machine is still broken. I don't know when I am going to be able to get to the laundry mat this weekend. I have so much studying to do! Even the thought of it brings me to tears. We are looking to buy a used washer to replace it for now, but are not having much luck. I don't know why people want to hang on to the ones they have. Don't they want better? ;) I also think if someone lists something on Craigslist, they should respond with some kind of answer when emailed.

And to top it all off? I am seriously considering NOT doing nursing. I just don't know right now. It might be the stress playing tricks on me, but it is not a desirable thought right now to be a nurse. I am really leaning towards Biology in general. Even though the classes are really hard, I really enjoy them. I wish I didn't seem so wishy washy.

I hope you all are doing better than I am right now! Tell me something good!

Update: First Day Back to School

It went great and I absolutely love my schedule, right now! By chance, I got into the class I was trying to get into. At the very last moment a spot opened up! I was so relieved. I am now taking the same teacher for Anatomy and Physiology and he supposed to be the absolute best teacher in these subjects. I am hoping he teaches the material together a little bit, but probably not.

In Physiology he said multiple times this class is going to be a "bitch" and don't plan on having a life for the next four months. In Anatomy it was a bit different. We will be coloring a lot and he didn't use the term "bitch" at all when talking about the class.

My 8 am Anatomy lab was canceled yesterday morning which ended up great. When faced with the decision of what to do to kill the next 2 hours I decided to go to the bookstore and buy my books. I am so glad I did. Because I was there so early, there was no line. I was in and out in 20 minutes (and $500 poorer). If I had waited until the afternoon like I almost had to do, I would have been there at least an hour, if not more.

Tonight, I have my Physiology lab which I am nervous about, only because the lecture is going to be so hard. I know this lab will be just as hard.

So, once again, I will miss you all! My head will be buried in books (really big books) for the next 4 months. I promise to come up for air once in a while!

First Day Back to School

Well, today is my first day back to school. Hopefully, all will go well as I am still trying to add a class that has been completely full for a month!

All I can say is Let the craziness begin!

Banana Crisp

I made this recipe up by trying some other things lately. I never would have thought that cooking a banana would be so good. I like raw bananas just fine, but I don't eat them often. Cooked, they are amazing!

Ingredients:

Bananas--however many you will eat

1 Cup oats

1 Cup butter

1 Cup brown sugar

Directions:

1. Pick a baking dish--any size (I have used an 8x8 and a 9x13).

2. preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

3. Mix 1/2 cup cold butter and the sugar until creamy.

4. Add in the oats and mix until combined. Set Aside. (This makes enough for a 9x13 size pan. You can refrigerate the rest for a later batch.)

5. Place the rest of the butter into the baking dish and put into oven until just melted.

6. Take the baking dish out and cut bananas in half length wise.

7. Place the cut bananas into the baking dish cut side down. You want them side by side--slightly squished together.

8. Sprinkle the oat mixture all over the top of the bananas. Cover them good.

9. Bake for about 15 minutes.

10. Serve with some vanilla ice cream or whipped cream. Enjoy!

Post linked to Grocery Cart Challenge.

A little introspection.

Do you know what it feels like to offend somebody and not really know how you did it? I do. And let me tell you: It does not feel good to constantly wonder if you said something you shouldn't have. My mouth tends to say something and later I will think back on a conversation and think "why did I say that?" or wonder "why did I do that?"

About a year ago, I had a friend (a really good friend) quit talking to me. She wasn't mean about it, she just disappeared. It was weird. We had been friends for about 10 years and we had talked often. It was really hard to lose that friend.

I really don't want to lose the current friends I have. I am an extremely social person, at least I used to be. It has been really hard not having the time or energy to spend time with the friends in my life. I want to have parties and have friends over to watch movies or just gabber.

I know it is easy for me to get caught up in school and family, which are important, and forget my wonderful friends. I guess that should be my belated New Year's Resolution: To work on spending time with my friends.

To all my friends: I love you!